This morning, I almost died on the way to work. Here's how it all went down:
I was getting onto 895 from Ritchie Hwy to go to work up in White Marsh and behind me was this minivan. Then this dirty-green minivan gets closer and closer until it is so far up my bumper that it's driver can read the books I had in the backseat. He continues to ride me like a bad donkey and gets super pissed when I let someone else in front of me. (The other person used a blinker and I am a nice person, so I let them over.) The crazed minivan gets so close that I can't even see the hood of the minivan then he gets over in the land that was ending and kept swerving into my lane, threatening to RAM me! I mean, the lane that he got over into was the "This lane ends in a couple of feet lane" and then he got pissed that I wouldn't let him over!!! He wasn't even using a blinker!!! I had to drive on the shoulder to let him pass and then he gives me THE DOUBLE BIRD! I mean, this 70+ year old, bushy-eyebrowed, handicap-tag, kamikaze minivan driving maniac FLIPPED ME THE DOUBLE BIRD! Let me tell you, I was not a happy driver. If I was a petty person, I would have high-beamed him all the way through the tunnel, but I am not, so I didn't. I mean, I am not going to lie, but thought about high-beaming the hades out of him, but my going-thru-the-tunnel mantra was "I am a better person than him. I am a better person than him. I am a better person than him." I also had to stop myself from calling all of my friends that are law enforcement agents (State Troopers, Transit Cops, etc) to pull this maniac over. I wasn't able to stop myself from smiling though when a county cop followed him off his exit.
Anywho, that's how my morning went. I just thought I'd share, just in case anyone is on 895 and happens across this very same kamikaze, overly-agressive, bushy-eyebrowed, dirty-green minivan-driving, double-bird-flipping, handicap-tagged senior citizen.
Here's to a good commute home! :-D
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